Over the past few months, I've really been challenged a lot in my faith and belief system. Don't get me wrong; I've never doubted God or my salvation, just been awakened to some new truths that I've never thought hard about before. There have been several times where I've struggled and gone back and forth asking many questions of my husband and friends. I've never quite had a desire to learn and grow in the way that I do now. It's, of course, still difficult at times to get in the word, but that new spark has pushed me closer to Him.
Then, about a month ago, my brother and sister-in-law received some news that their daughter, Charlotte Jane, who was to be born in late February, would more than likely be born with some type of genetic disorder. There were many unanswered questions as to what was really going on; the only solution was to wait until she arrived.
On February 10, Charlotte was born. Due to some complications with her lungs, she was rushed to the NICU to be put on a ventilator. Later that night, she was transported to Cook Children's Hospital where they could give her more specilized care. The next several days were pretty difficult as Charlotte struggled to breathe on her own. Then, on February 17, Charlotte's fight and pain were over when she went home to be with our Savior.
God struck me hard with this. This is the closest I've ever been to death; I've had grandparents that have passed away, but it just seems unnatural and "unfair" for such a young life to have to go through that. My prayer life radically changed from the moment we found out that Charlotte might be born with complications. I had many questions and didn't really understand. I praised God in all of it, but was also very fearful, anxious and doubtful.
However, my faith has never grown so much in my life or in quite the same way as it has because of this and for that I'm grateful. I've been able to see some miraculous faith and trust in God in Justin and Angela as well which has been awesome to get to see. God has been glorified so much and changed others through this little precious life. I believe it was during Charlotte's graveside when Rick was talking about suffering on this earth. Suffering brings us closer to the cross and helps us experience Christ. Not only because we draw nearer to Him in our pain, but because it is part of the fullness of the Christian life. Christ endured the pinnacle of suffering on the cross and when we experience some degree of suffering, we're experiencing some degree of Him. When we meditate on that, it should make us fall to our knees in reverance because of the fullness of God's grace. So, we should rejoice in our suffering.
Ecclesiastes 3:4 is a significant truth that Ang told me she has really learned through this. "There's a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance." After I've meditated on the truth about suffering, this becomes extremely profound. Even though there's much pain and weeping associated with Charlotte's death, there's much joy because her pain is over and she is in the presence of our God. So, it's ok to laugh and cry at the same time; it's part of this incredible journey we're on.
Go to justinandangela.blogspot.com to read more of their incredible story.
